Being Intentional {Part 2}: Time with God

I promised myself that I would endeavor to be as real as possible on this blog. Well, the reality is that I am almost nervous to write a post on this topic just because I really, really don’t have it figured out. Not that it should come as a surprise, being human and all. 🙂 I am far from perfect, but my pride would tell me that I should be farther by now in this area. Don’t get me wrong – I do pray frequently throughout the day as things come to my mind. I relish many sweet times I’ve had in prayer or when God shows me something heart-piercing through Scripture.  But, to be perfectly honest, carving out specific time during my day for “quiet time”, or time for Bible reading, meditation, and prayer has never been a strong point for me.

I don’t know about you, but I seem to go through seasons where I am really digging in, and others where I either get lazy or busy. It has always been my personal goal to set aside time early in the morning, simply because so much happens throughout the day. I get busy, and by the time girls are in bed, I am ready to turn my brain off and veg!

Through my recent heart examination regarding discipline and the idea of being intentional about various things in my life, one thing is clear. The effectiveness of all other areas hinge on this area. Thus the well-known verse in Matthew 6:33…

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Pretty simple. When God is at the center of our lives, everything else tends to fall into place. He is the source of all things good.  The place where obtain our hope and strength to navigate through life. When I feel confused or my direction seems foggy, I must remember that God sees everything, knows everything, and wants to help ME! We experience much greater peace, joy, and contentment in our daily lives when we look to Him first and foremost instead of ourselves or the things around us. Not only that, but the more we get to know Him, the more we want to know Him!

There are four primary things that I’ve learned:

1. God wants to talk to us.

Sometimes it’s easy to feel insignificant, like one speck of dust among many. To feel like perhaps God won’t notice if don’t talk to Him, or He might even be mad at us for it….so we don’t. But, God is just like any good father (only better!), He really REALLY wants to have a relationship with His kids! He loves to hear our prayers, and He also wants to tell us things, too. He’s not looking for performance, He’s looking for a sincere heart that desires that relationship. Things are really put into perspective for me if I think of Addie or Ava growing up and rarely taking the time to call or stop by for a visit. While I would still love them, that would seriously devastate my heart! If only we knew how deeply God cares and desires to show us things!

2. Be intentional. Make a decision to do it, plan it, then do it.

I’m learning that if I want to continue to grow and cultivate my relationship with God, I have to be intentional about it. Intentionality in this area will look different for everyone depending on their circumstances. For me, it means setting a specific time of the day. In this season as a busy mommy of two little ones, if I don’t plan to do it and allocate a specific time for it, it doesn’t get done!

I don’t believe there is a cookie-cutter formula for the “right way” of spending time with the Lord, because we are each unique and in different seasons of life. A retired empty-nester may have more time to allot than someone with a demanding job schedule, homework load, or toddlers to chase. God knows each of our hearts and meets us where we are. Whether its early in the morning with a cup of coffee, at night before bed, on the road to work, listening to worship music on your iPod while jogging, whatever  – just taking the time. Being consistent. And for me, when I feel myself slacking, it’s dusting my britches off and getting back on the wagon instead of getting stuck in a guilt trip that keeps me from moving forward.

3. Be intentional about the study approach

This is not by any means intended to portray “THE” way to study or have a devotional time, this is just what works for me and my easily distracted brain. 🙂  I’ve found that having an intentional plan of study helps keep me focused. Otherwise, I seem to spend half of my time staring blankly at the pages wondering what I should read while a barrage of random thoughts and proverbial to-do lists pummel my mind.  Am I the only one who experiences that? There have been times when I have felt prompted to go to this book or that verse, but generally I try to go through one book at a time so that I have time to let it soak in.

A typical morning would consist of me reading several verses in whichever New Testament book I’ve chosen to study, as well as some verses from an Old Testament book I’ve picked. Or some mornings, I only read from one and then read from a favorite devotional. This is usually in the morning before the girls wake up, with a cup of coffee (ESSENTIAL!) in my hand. It doesn’t always happen, but I don’t sweat it. I can always wait until the girls’ nap time if need be! Ava is still waking up for middle-of-the-night feedings and is quite a night owl, and there are also days when Addie Kate decides to wake up earlier than normal. Routine is still a bit hard to come by in my house. 🙂 Instead of trying suddenly to wake up at the crack of dawn, I’ve been working my way up the clock gradually. Setting my alarm for 15 minutes earlier than normal for a week or two, then once that is doable, setting it for another 15 minutes earlier, and so on.

4.  Don’t make it a legalistic burden.

While we are commanded as God’s children to seek Him wholeheartedly, it’s not something that should impose a heavy weight of guilt on our shoulders. This is made pretty clear in Matthew 11:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

This is something I have to be reminded of, since the perfectionist part of me tends  to get overwhelmed and throw in the towel when I can’t do something perfectly. Our relationship with God should not be cumbersome, but rather our source of strength and rejuvenation. I also have to be wary of the comparison game. There will always be someone more disciplined than me who seems to have it all together. But, God is concerned with my heart, not my best shot at winning the spiritual giant of the year contest. 😉

Well folks, that’s all I’ve got for today. I hope that leaves you encouraged!

What are your thoughts? What do you do to carve out time in your day for God?

Being Intentional

You know those people who have lots of great ideas, but rarely seem to actually carry out the plan to completion?

You might even see a bunch of really organized and well-written lists lying around, but with very few things crossed off!

(My hubby calls me the List Queen. I LOVE lists. Too bad lists don’t equal productivity…cause then I’d be the most productive one-person git ‘er done factory ever.)

The kind who get super excited about a new project, but then are bored with it before it’s finished…

(There might be four unpainted cabinet drawers in my kitchen out of my  newly a few several months ago refinished wood-to-white cabinets. That also might be on one of those to-do lists. But who knows….just speaking hypothetically :))

These people generally have the best and most sincere of intentions, but sometimes get too many irons in the fire, get discouraged, or lose their excitement before the follow through.

Know anyone like that?

I kinda do….

…that would be me. At least some of the time. I’m trying. 🙂

While I could write it off as being “free-spirited” or spontaneous, to be honest it’s not something I am proud of. In fact, I really don’t like it! There are some areas in life that I am pretty particular about (i.e. I love me a clean house!), but this pattern of half-baked ideas and tasks has been somewhat of a theme for me. I can easily get discouraged while reflecting on it, and goshdarnit, just down right bugged about myself! I have really been convicted in the past year or two that it is a lack of discipline in some of the areas in my life. Moreover, just not being intentional about how I spend my time, energy, and resources. It’s something I’ve endeavored to work on since high school, but I think the moment I began to realize that I really needed to kick it into high gear was when I became pregnant with my first daughter, Addelyn. I think perhaps the realization that I would soon be totally responsible for another human being really gave me a punch of reality. I began to pray and really think about how my priorities were stacked, whether the thing be great or small. In doing so, I found three things about myself:

1. I try wayyyy too hard to do wayyyy too many things for wayyyy too many people. In short…

      “Hi, my name is Ashlie, and I am a people pleaser.”

2. One of my greatest enemies is actually perfectionism. When something isn’t happening just the way I think it should in the time I think it should, I get overwhelmed, discouraged, and leave it to avoid total failure…but really do exactly that – fail!

3. My lack of discipline and intentionality in some key areas directly affects  my own welfare and that of those close to me.

Some of these things might seem like a no-brainer to an objective outsider, but it can be difficult to discern about one’s self until you have one of those “ah ha!” moments and identify the issue(s). So, in identifying some of these areas, I’ve been doing my best to allow God to change my perspective, align my priorities, and adjust some practical things in my life in order to be a more effective and intentional wife, mother, daughter, friend….etc, etc, etc. Let me say that it hasn’t been easy, and the path has lots of bumps…and am still on it! Probably will be for the rest of my life. But, I thank God for it because through the process it has given me so much more freedom, has helped me to weed out some of my “people-pleasing” tendencies, and be able to better serve others. A few of the areas I’ve been working on specifically:

• my relationship with God
• my marriage
• friendships
• time management/organization
• reaching out to others

God is so gracious to give us His Word as a guide through this thing we call life.  The passage that has been a bit of a roadmap for me in this area is Colossians chapter 3. The entire chapter has been pivotal for me, but specifically verses 23 & 24:

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (ESV)

While I should be doing this all of the time, actually thinking about doing things for the Lord puts a whole new spin on things, don’t you think? Talk about conviction!

A conversation with Gav a couple of nights ago spurred me to write about this, and since I tend to be a tad long winded, I’m going to use the next couple of posts to discuss being intentional in each of the areas I mentioned above. I’ve said this before…I don’t have anything  to say that hasn’t already been said, and this is most likely for my own benefit more than anyone else’s!  But if you’ll join me for the next few posts, I hope that we will be encouraged together! Plus…there is something about writing of your struggles for others to read that warrants a certain amount of accountability, know what I mean? Perhaps that’s one way that the people-pleasing bent may help me out if I know everyone knows my issues. 🙂

I’ll be back soon!

ashlie